Helllooo again

Yes, it has been quite awhile. I think I have been avoiding this, I sort of feel like I have nothing to say right now. Life just sort of drags me along sometimes, and I don't feel like I have much control. (vow to try to change that)

Here's an idea - maybe if I wrote more often, thereby giving me time with myself to be introspective, I would feel more inspired??? Nahh. Who knows?

It looks like spring, yet feels really cold. I'm confused. Today is the first day of SPRING and I like it. On a sad note, my beautifulish solar lanterns I got at Big Lots aren't working. HMMMM. Must fix that. I envision an amber glow in the starry night, with fireflies blinking here and there. I got nothing.

The Winter Wall of Pain

I have hit, and keep hitting, that Winter Wall. Let me explain. It is like the winter blues, but has a lot of guilt thrown in and peppered with regret. Still don't understand? Okay, there is WAY too much time to think and be introspective, way too much time by myself (not really a BAD thing, but adult conversation is nice), look outside and be wistful. I'm ready to get going in the dirt, but winter is really just here, so it will be a while. So then I start thinking what needs done that CAN be done now, such as repair leaking roof in my shed, and it just doesn't sound like much fun to do, therefore I don't do it and then I feel guilty for not exercising everyday like I should. It taunts me...really. Okay, I promise I will use the elliptical today. But it is so hard when you don't have a mindless tv show to focus on while you sweat. I'm trying to use it as my meditation time. My mantra "this sucks, this sucks,(repeat)" or "it's hot in here, (repeat)" or "time up yet? (repeat)". Do you detect a lack of focus? I think I need a project.

Plus, my good vacuum cleaner broke, I ordered a new part, will be here on Tuesday, but my floor is dirty NOW.

I have to make cupcakes for Claudia's birthday party on Sunday. We are going bowling and having pizza. But before that, she is invited to a party tonight, tomorrow is Megan's birthday party at Valley Worlds of Fun. So many parties!! Party on.

Did I mention my birthday is February 28? I'm trying to think of what to do that would be fun and meaningful. So far I have nothing.

Okay, even I am getting bored reading this, so I'll leave now. Bye!

Dolls

These are the dolls I made for Christmas. They were a lot of fun to do. I had plans to make some animals, also, but ran out of time.

A New Year, Already???

I just can't believe Christmas is over. I took the kids to the bus stop today, so it is back to a "normal" life. I kind of got used to them being home, and hate to see them go. Mom came for a short visit over New Years, which was nice. I really thought we would not see her until spring.

So this New Year thing has me thinking...I can't believe how quickly the time truly passes. I will be 40 this year - I cannot believe it. I'm not sure if I will have a "special" birthday. Part of me thinks that it is just best not to make a big deal out of it. I really don't like parties and would prefer to just have a quiet day to myself. Speaking of parties, Claudia will be 8 on the 13th. Once again, I can't believe it. She is my baby, and it is hard to see her grow up. Maddie just races toward adulthood. She always has wanted to be independent. But Claudia always says she wants to stay little. I guess I am going to miss having them small enough to hold close.

Mmmmmm...marmalade

The last time I was at Goodwill, I found an old book on preserving. I really love it, if just for the coolness of the typeset and illustrations. But I actually made a recipe from it. The grapefruit marmalade. Oh, my, it is really yummy. I do understand that it doesn't take a genius to make a jelly. You just add sugar and boil. But you feel like you are doing something special because you have to wait 3 days for it to be done. Okay, I cheated and did it in two days. Anyway, I am ready to make somemore. I have jarred up some to take to Christmas Eve at the in-laws. I have also been busy making the Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Role recipe. The dough tastes delightful! I will bake those tonight or tomorrow morning.

The presents are wrapped, save for some I need to get boxes for. So I guess I am ready, if I could get over this cold. I'm fine as long as I don't talk at all. My voice left me last night. On a date with JP. How convenient for him!! Okay, I must finish up last minute stuff and get a shower before the girls get home.

Merry Christmas!!

Getting Ready

This is the ornament I made designed by Alicia Paulson. I have two others, also. Yes, tree is finally up. I've been making goodies for tomorrow. We are having friends over. Unfortunately, Maddie and I have developed a cold, and I just want to crawl in bed. Too much to do. Today Maddie had a performance at school with her show choir group. It was really good. Then I came back home to get some work done, and then went back to the school for the afternoon Christmas parties. Tomorrow morn. we have to be at church for a practice, and then on to the store party. Then back here for more party. Then Sunday is the pageant and I think i am about done.

I've been working on some dolls for the girls for Christmas, and I would post a pic, but I'm afraid they would see it. Everytime Maddie plugs in her MP3 player to the computer it loads all my pics on it! I'm sure there is a way around this, but I have no idea.

The Miracle....maybe

I just can't seem to get into the Christmas/holiday mood. I thought I was, but then it left. I have Christmas music on, working on Christmas projects, I even made fudge. Maybe I am at an age (on the eve of 40!@!) where it ceases to be fun. I don't know. Maybe when we get a tree it will kick-start me. But even that might be boogered up. JP wants to go to Mt. Zion tree farm this year. YES, it is very convenient, only about 3 miles from our house, but they don't have the kind of tree I like. WAAAAA. I know. It is sad. No one else cares. I just don't want a prickly, unkind tree. But I have to be flexible, right?

I wanted to sing in the cantata at church, I have only gone to one practice. I give up on that. This week is busy with the kids programs at school, and their practices. It just really complicates things when MOM wants to do something. SOO, maybe I'll put on the Messiah, get out my book and serenade everyone. As their punishment. haha.

I have bread in the oven. For the simple reason that we didn't have any bread! So now we don't have any flour. Tomorrow, guys, I promise I will buy food. It's just that sometimes you have to make the choice, buy presents....or buy food....lately I've been doing the present thing. Hopefully I am done. I always feel like I'm sure I've done someone wrong, or something is not fair.

So I am praying for the miracle of Christmas spirit today.